Wondering What it is Like to Live Alone

I'm sure your first thought is, "Hmmm, isn't Robyn kinda old to not know what it's like to be on her own?" Yeah, I know - most people would have moved out of their parents house 10 years earlier than I. But, then, most everything I've done in my life has gone against the "norm" and my decisions have often been seen as "immature" because I don't seem to follow along with decisions that other people make in this culture nowadays. Perhaps it is because I have not matured enough, or perhaps I have been given a gift to see past the cookie-cutter expectations, and realize what is important in this world.

It seems that most teenagers go through a phase of wanting to be independent; get out on their own; try their own wings. And, while there are benefits to moving out and living by yourself, it's good to weigh them against the benefits of staying home with family. But, sometimes those benefits are rarely considered, discussed, or compared in the final decision. Obviously there are circumstances where living at home is not a wise or maybe even viable option, but it was for me.
When I turned 18 and the urge came to leave home and get out from under my parents, I started weighing the benefits of leaving, and of staying. Sure, there was the benefit of saving money, but the Lord began to work in my heart and reveal to me the value of developing and investing in real relationships with my family. Yeah, I had grown up with them and spent 18 years of my life with them. But living with someone and developing a deep relationship someone are two different things, and require a completely different mind set. Gradually, my attitude towards my parents began to change - no longer did I see them as stifling and overbearing, but rather I saw them as deep wells of knowledge and wisdom. As my perspective changed, so did my attitude towards them, and soon I started to treasure every moment with my family. Yeah, we still have our arguments and little squabbles, but the whole relationship has taken on new dimensions and is on a whole new level. My Mom is one of my best friends and has quickly become one of my all-time, life-time heroes; my dad has been my personal financial advisor, tax advisor, auto mechanic advisor, and computer advisor. My brother knows me inside and out, and the only guy that I can completely be myself around.
So, when people are surprised that I still live at home and encourage me to get out and try my own wings, I smile and say "sure". But inside I know that I have discovered a most valuable treasure, the treasure of a real family, real relationships. Sure, I could live on my own, but I never wanted to because I know that my time with my family is limited. I won't get to spend the rest of my days with them, and so I want to hold on to every moment that God blesses me with. Knowing that someday, they won't be around.

The past 10 years with my family have been an incredible blessing that I will treasure always. Now God is gently leading me down new paths that I must take. These are paths that God has chosen for my life, and I know that He will give me what I need to walk them. And so, with these new paths ahead of me, I'm wondering. What will it be like to live alone? When I've spent almost three decades living with family, the prospect of living alone seems, well, scary. Alone is such a solitude word. It sounds empty. It sounds lonely. But then, I remember that I will not be truly alone. The Lord promises to be with me; to care for me; to walk along side me.
There is such complete relief to know that my True Friend will never leave me. He will care for me, as long as I put my trust in Him.
I don't know what it's like to live by myself, but I do know that I won't be alone.

Come February - it's me and God.