I'm sure your first thought is, "Hmmm, isn't Robyn kinda old to not know what it's like to be on her own?" Yeah, I know - most people would have moved out of their parents house 10 years earlier than I. But, then, most everything I've done in my life has gone against the "norm" and my decisions have often been seen as "immature" because I don't seem to follow along with decisions that other people make in this culture nowadays. Perhaps it is because I have not matured enough, or perhaps I have been given a gift to see past the cookie-cutter expectations, and realize what is important in this world.
It seems that most teenagers go through a phase of wanting to be independent; get out on their own; try their own wings. And, while there are benefits to moving out and living by yourself, it's good to weigh them against the benefits of staying home with family. But, sometimes those benefits are rarely considered, discussed, or compared in the final decision. Obviously there are circumstances where living at home is not a wise or maybe even viable option, but it was for me.
When I turned 18 and the urge came to leave home and get out from under my parents, I started weighing the benefits of leaving, and of staying. Sure, there was the benefit of saving money, but the Lord began to work in my heart and reveal to me the value of developing and investing in real relationships with my family. Yeah, I had grown up with them and spent 18 years of my life with them. But living with someone and developing a deep relationship someone are two different things, and require a completely different mind set. Gradually, my attitude towards my parents began to change - no longer did I see them as stifling and overbearing, but rather I saw them as deep wells of knowledge and wisdom. As my perspective changed, so did my attitude towards them, and soon I started to treasure every moment with my family. Yeah, we still have our arguments and little squabbles, but the whole relationship has taken on new dimensions and is on a whole new level. My Mom is one of my best friends and has quickly become one of my all-time, life-time heroes; my dad has been my personal financial advisor, tax advisor, auto mechanic advisor, and computer advisor. My brother knows me inside and out, and the only guy that I can completely be myself around.
So, when people are surprised that I still live at home and encourage me to get out and try my own wings, I smile and say "sure". But inside I know that I have discovered a most valuable treasure, the treasure of a real family, real relationships. Sure, I could live on my own, but I never wanted to because I know that my time with my family is limited. I won't get to spend the rest of my days with them, and so I want to hold on to every moment that God blesses me with. Knowing that someday, they won't be around.
The past 10 years with my family have been an incredible blessing that I will treasure always. Now God is gently leading me down new paths that I must take. These are paths that God has chosen for my life, and I know that He will give me what I need to walk them. And so, with these new paths ahead of me, I'm wondering. What will it be like to live alone? When I've spent almost three decades living with family, the prospect of living alone seems, well, scary. Alone is such a solitude word. It sounds empty. It sounds lonely. But then, I remember that I will not be truly alone. The Lord promises to be with me; to care for me; to walk along side me.
There is such complete relief to know that my True Friend will never leave me. He will care for me, as long as I put my trust in Him.
I don't know what it's like to live by myself, but I do know that I won't be alone.
Come February - it's me and God.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
New Things Ahead
Normally, isn't it the little bird that flies away from the nest and the mommy and daddy bird that stay? But, when is life normal for Robyn? My parents flew the coup last Thursday - all the way to South America. I'm here keeping the nest warm and somewhat clean, but they forgot to tell me how to catch worms. Either that, or I'm just not early enough.
Okay, enough with the corny analogies. :)
December 31st was a special day for my dad. After 50+ solid years of work, he retired, and boy was he happy to get a well deserved break from the corporate rat race. The one drawback is that retirement pay isn't very much nowadays, and definitely won't support a family of 4; nor can it afford the big house that we have now. Since my mom has loads of family in South America, and a little property of her own, they decided to go down to Chile for a few months and see if it might be possible to live down there. Either way they will be moving - either to Chile or to a smaller place here in the US. Which means that I have to start looking for my own place to live. Yeah, you got that right - my parents are kicking me out of the house. :)
So, for the next three months they will be looking at land, housing, cars, etc.
Meanwhile, while my parents are gallivanting around the world, I'm here at home trying to manage our big house, the pets, the bills, (and trying to manage my little brother). While also working a gazillion hours at Compassion, babysitting, house sitting, and trying to look for my own place. Needless to say, I'm slightly busy.
Other than my being an orphan for the next 3 months, things really haven't changed, per se, but the road ahead is revealing more change than I've had in my life, to date.
Even if my parents do move to Chile, they will still be "visiting" me for months at a time and will need a place to live on and off. So, in a matter of a few short months, I will go from being a dependent, eating my mom's cooking, living in my dad's house, and having limited expenses - to providing food for my family, a roof over their head, and tripling my current expenditures. But you know, even though it's a little more responsibility and a lot of new territory, I have complete peace that the Lord will provide for every need and guide me through each decision. What a joy it is that I can simply call upon my Father and know without a shadow of a doubt that He will remain faithful and true. It is reassuring to be able to put my complete confidence in the Lord, no matter what lies ahead. And, I am exceedingly grateful that I have such wonderful parents, and that He has given me this opportunity to give back to them just as they gave and sacrificed so much for me. How incredibly blessed I am to have such wonderful parents, and even more thankful that He has helped us to have deep and abiding relationships with one another.
The trials and challenges that come our way are but periods of fire that will melt the dross from the gold of our faith. And I know that it was “for this very purpose, that [He] might display [His] power in [me] and that [His] name might be proclaimed in all the earth." (Rom9.17) So, I pray that through this time of change in my life that He might be glorified in everything, and that His name would be proclaimed and uplifted.
Okay, enough with the corny analogies. :)
December 31st was a special day for my dad. After 50+ solid years of work, he retired, and boy was he happy to get a well deserved break from the corporate rat race. The one drawback is that retirement pay isn't very much nowadays, and definitely won't support a family of 4; nor can it afford the big house that we have now. Since my mom has loads of family in South America, and a little property of her own, they decided to go down to Chile for a few months and see if it might be possible to live down there. Either way they will be moving - either to Chile or to a smaller place here in the US. Which means that I have to start looking for my own place to live. Yeah, you got that right - my parents are kicking me out of the house. :)
So, for the next three months they will be looking at land, housing, cars, etc.
Meanwhile, while my parents are gallivanting around the world, I'm here at home trying to manage our big house, the pets, the bills, (and trying to manage my little brother). While also working a gazillion hours at Compassion, babysitting, house sitting, and trying to look for my own place. Needless to say, I'm slightly busy.
Other than my being an orphan for the next 3 months, things really haven't changed, per se, but the road ahead is revealing more change than I've had in my life, to date.
Even if my parents do move to Chile, they will still be "visiting" me for months at a time and will need a place to live on and off. So, in a matter of a few short months, I will go from being a dependent, eating my mom's cooking, living in my dad's house, and having limited expenses - to providing food for my family, a roof over their head, and tripling my current expenditures. But you know, even though it's a little more responsibility and a lot of new territory, I have complete peace that the Lord will provide for every need and guide me through each decision. What a joy it is that I can simply call upon my Father and know without a shadow of a doubt that He will remain faithful and true. It is reassuring to be able to put my complete confidence in the Lord, no matter what lies ahead. And, I am exceedingly grateful that I have such wonderful parents, and that He has given me this opportunity to give back to them just as they gave and sacrificed so much for me. How incredibly blessed I am to have such wonderful parents, and even more thankful that He has helped us to have deep and abiding relationships with one another.
The trials and challenges that come our way are but periods of fire that will melt the dross from the gold of our faith. And I know that it was “for this very purpose, that [He] might display [His] power in [me] and that [His] name might be proclaimed in all the earth." (Rom9.17) So, I pray that through this time of change in my life that He might be glorified in everything, and that His name would be proclaimed and uplifted.
Soli Deo Gloria
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