Empty Chairs

Today is the 9th consecutive day of coming home to an empty house. It hasn't been too awfully bad, probably because I'm always at work and never at home. But it is terribly quite in this huge house. I get home late and tired and the kitchen serves as a daily reminder of my mom's cooking. The empty chairs around the table echo of laughter and fellowship; and the basement seems void of the loud football games that my dad and I enjoyed together. My little dog sits and looks at me while I recount the events of my day, but she just isn't the same as family.

The meaning and purpose of the family has become more dear to me of late. There is a certain sense of security; of knowing that someone will always be there for you and you'll never be completely on your own. There is a need to depend to trust, a need for a relationship. As a song once sung stated:

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Someone to care for; to be there for. Someone to do for; muddle through for. Someone to share joy or despair with; whichever betides you. Life becomes a chore, unless you're living for someone to tend to be a friend to. Someone to strive for, do or die for.

~Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

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An empty and quite house is difficult for the person who is reliant on the security of family. But, I'm also aware that this time in my life has been graciously afford to me by my Lord. He will use it to strengthen my trust in Him. To show me that He will provide for my needs - all my needs. The absence of family does not mean the absence of security, but simply the opportunity to rely on the One that has everything in the palms of His hands.

"Do not fear, O Jacob my servant; do not be dismayed, O Israel. I will surely save you out of a distant place, your descendants from the land of their exile. Jacob will again have peace and security, and no one will make him afraid."
Jeremiah 46:27

Wondering What it is Like to Live Alone

I'm sure your first thought is, "Hmmm, isn't Robyn kinda old to not know what it's like to be on her own?" Yeah, I know - most people would have moved out of their parents house 10 years earlier than I. But, then, most everything I've done in my life has gone against the "norm" and my decisions have often been seen as "immature" because I don't seem to follow along with decisions that other people make in this culture nowadays. Perhaps it is because I have not matured enough, or perhaps I have been given a gift to see past the cookie-cutter expectations, and realize what is important in this world.

It seems that most teenagers go through a phase of wanting to be independent; get out on their own; try their own wings. And, while there are benefits to moving out and living by yourself, it's good to weigh them against the benefits of staying home with family. But, sometimes those benefits are rarely considered, discussed, or compared in the final decision. Obviously there are circumstances where living at home is not a wise or maybe even viable option, but it was for me.
When I turned 18 and the urge came to leave home and get out from under my parents, I started weighing the benefits of leaving, and of staying. Sure, there was the benefit of saving money, but the Lord began to work in my heart and reveal to me the value of developing and investing in real relationships with my family. Yeah, I had grown up with them and spent 18 years of my life with them. But living with someone and developing a deep relationship someone are two different things, and require a completely different mind set. Gradually, my attitude towards my parents began to change - no longer did I see them as stifling and overbearing, but rather I saw them as deep wells of knowledge and wisdom. As my perspective changed, so did my attitude towards them, and soon I started to treasure every moment with my family. Yeah, we still have our arguments and little squabbles, but the whole relationship has taken on new dimensions and is on a whole new level. My Mom is one of my best friends and has quickly become one of my all-time, life-time heroes; my dad has been my personal financial advisor, tax advisor, auto mechanic advisor, and computer advisor. My brother knows me inside and out, and the only guy that I can completely be myself around.
So, when people are surprised that I still live at home and encourage me to get out and try my own wings, I smile and say "sure". But inside I know that I have discovered a most valuable treasure, the treasure of a real family, real relationships. Sure, I could live on my own, but I never wanted to because I know that my time with my family is limited. I won't get to spend the rest of my days with them, and so I want to hold on to every moment that God blesses me with. Knowing that someday, they won't be around.

The past 10 years with my family have been an incredible blessing that I will treasure always. Now God is gently leading me down new paths that I must take. These are paths that God has chosen for my life, and I know that He will give me what I need to walk them. And so, with these new paths ahead of me, I'm wondering. What will it be like to live alone? When I've spent almost three decades living with family, the prospect of living alone seems, well, scary. Alone is such a solitude word. It sounds empty. It sounds lonely. But then, I remember that I will not be truly alone. The Lord promises to be with me; to care for me; to walk along side me.
There is such complete relief to know that my True Friend will never leave me. He will care for me, as long as I put my trust in Him.
I don't know what it's like to live by myself, but I do know that I won't be alone.

Come February - it's me and God.

New Things Ahead

Normally, isn't it the little bird that flies away from the nest and the mommy and daddy bird that stay? But, when is life normal for Robyn? My parents flew the coup last Thursday - all the way to South America. I'm here keeping the nest warm and somewhat clean, but they forgot to tell me how to catch worms. Either that, or I'm just not early enough.
Okay, enough with the corny analogies. :)

December 31st was a special day for my dad. After 50+ solid years of work, he retired, and boy was he happy to get a well deserved break from the corporate rat race. The one drawback is that retirement pay isn't very much nowadays, and definitely won't support a family of 4; nor can it afford the big house that we have now. Since my mom has loads of family in South America, and a little property of her own, they decided to go down to Chile for a few months and see if it might be possible to live down there. Either way they will be moving - either to Chile or to a smaller place here in the US. Which means that I have to start looking for my own place to live. Yeah, you got that right - my parents are kicking me out of the house. :)
So, for the next three months they will be looking at land, housing, cars, etc.

Meanwhile, while my parents are gallivanting around the world, I'm here at home trying to manage our big house, the pets, the bills, (and trying to manage my little brother). While also working a gazillion hours at Compassion, babysitting, house sitting, and trying to look for my own place. Needless to say, I'm slightly busy.

Other than my being an orphan for the next 3 months, things really haven't changed, per se, but the road ahead is revealing more change than I've had in my life, to date.

Even if my parents do move to Chile, they will still be "visiting" me for months at a time and will need a place to live on and off. So, in a matter of a few short months, I will go from being a dependent, eating my mom's cooking, living in my dad's house, and having limited expenses - to providing food for my family, a roof over their head, and tripling my current expenditures. But you know, even though it's a little more responsibility and a lot of new territory, I have complete peace that the Lord will provide for every need and guide me through each decision. What a joy it is that I can simply call upon my Father and know without a shadow of a doubt that He will remain faithful and true. It is reassuring to be able to put my complete confidence in the Lord, no matter what lies ahead. And, I am exceedingly grateful that I have such wonderful parents, and that He has given me this opportunity to give back to them just as they gave and sacrificed so much for me. How incredibly blessed I am to have such wonderful parents, and even more thankful that He has helped us to have deep and abiding relationships with one another.

The trials and challenges that come our way are but periods of fire that will melt the dross from the gold of our faith. And I know that it was “for this very purpose, that [He] might display [His] power in [me] and that [His] name might be proclaimed in all the earth." (Rom9.17) So, I pray that through this time of change in my life that He might be glorified in everything, and that His name would be proclaimed and uplifted.

Soli Deo Gloria

Winnie

We have had a special visitor for the past few days. At first my friend was super shy and didn't really want to venture over to our place, but now she has been stopping by almost every day. Her name is Winnie, and although she lives up to her name, she is very sweet and loves attention. Please, I'd like you to meet my new friend. Doesn't she have lovely green eyes?

Winnie, the brown tabby cat


She started coming around a few weeks ago, and would dart away if we even tried to open the back door. She was so skinny, and I felt sorry for her, so I made the "mistake" of putting some milk out for her. Well, after a couple days of milk, she couldn't stay away. She stops by for both breakfast and dinner every day. We even dolled out some cash and got her some real cat food. Well, apparently she spoils easy, because she is now very insistent that we feed her at least twice a day. :) In fact, so insistent, that she doesn't stop whining until her mouth hits the food. And, unlike normal, patient cats, she WHINES. No purring, begging, or soft whimpering - a flat out screeching whine. So, we decided to name her Winnie for short. =)


I found it very curious how her attitude quickly changed from darting at the smallest overture of friendship or safety; to demanding attention and care - and satisfied with nothing less. She reminds me a lot people. We often are frighted of the thought of being kept safe and protected by the Lord, and will emotionally dart from the mention of someone else taking care of us. Then, when we taste the goodness and sweetness of His presence, we wonder, "Maybe I should come back for more". The moment we get a small portion of sustenance, we realize how hungry we really are. We don't often realize how much the Lord truly loves us, and how He sees out state of being and desires to fill us with food that will give us fulfillment. We come back, and we taste and see that the Lord's food is good, healthy, and fulfilling. Then, suddenly, our heart cries out and we long for more! We find that the alleys and byways cannot offer the same freshness or provide the rich flavor; everything else seems to pale in comparison to the royal food that is freely given us.


I can't let Winnie into my parents house, or give her a warm bed to sleep in. I realize how insufficient my care is for her, and I am reminded that my God is all-sufficient, and He invites us to come in, sit down, and eat with Him. He feeds the ravens, and considers us far more valuable. He wants to keep us safe in His loving arms. "For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock." He calls to us, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."



Little Winnie, you are a picture of me. Crying out for something more - something that will give me life again. Purpose that will satisfy my every longing. A Friend that will never leave me homeless, like you have been left. Someone who cares.


Praise be to the Lord! For you have found deliverance in my backyard, and I have found my deliverance in Christ!


Truly, the Lord is gracious to provide for a hungry sinner like myself. His love and mercy knows no ends.

Prayers

One of my most favorite books is a prayer book. A compilation of prayers that were written by stalwart Christians that lived during the early years of America, people like Jonathan Edwards, John Bunyan, Isaac Watts and Charles Spurgeon. These prayers grab my heart and seem to express exactly what I need to say to God. Today, this was my prayer:

"Almighty God, as I cross the threshold of this day I commit myself, soul, body, affairs, friends, to Thy care. Watch over, keep, guide, direct, sanctify, bless me. Incline my heart to thy ways. Mould me wholly into the image of Jesus, as a potter forms clay. May my lips be a well-tuned harp to sound Thy praise. Let those around see me living by Thy Spirit, trampling the world underfoot, unconformed to lying vanities, transformed by a renewed mind, clad in the entire armour of God, shining as a never-dimmed light, showing holiness in all my doings. Let no evil this day soil my thoughts, words, hands. May I travel miry paths with a life pure from spot or stain. In needful transactions let my affection be in heaven, and my love soar upwards in flames of fire, my gaze fixed on unseen things, my eyes open to the emptiness, fragility, mockery of earth and its vanities. May I view all things in the mirror of eternity, waiting for the coming of my Lord, listening for the last trumpet call, hastening unto the new heaven and earth. Order this day all my communications according to Thy wisdom, and to the gain of mutual good. Forbid that I should not be profited or made profitable. May I speak each word as if my last word, and walk each step as my final one. If my life should end today, let this be my best day. "

Amen.

Soli Deo Gloria

The sole purpose of our existence is to bring glory to God, the Creator of the Universe; the Creator of you and me. “Why glorify God?”, you might ask. Because you were raised up “for this very purpose, that [He] might display [His] power in you and that [His] name might be proclaimed in all the earth." The Bible reminds us that “in all things God may be praised.” (1 Peter 4:11) and encourages us “that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Romans 15:6) One of the most fundamental questions of all ages, “Why am I here and what is my purpose in life?” is simply answered by our forefathers, “What is the chief end of man? Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever.” Every day, throughout our lives, it is “God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose.” (Philippians 2:13) What an incredible honor - that the Lord of the Universe would be willing to take a life and cause it to be of eternal value!

It is my prayer that the words written on this blog will show that each moment in our lives are designed to bring glory to our mighty God, and how God works in even the “insignificant details”. My hope is also that each post will reveal the fulfillment that is found in a life that is dedicated to the glorification of God. For when we aim to glorify God with our very being it is then, and only then, that we find true satisfaction; abiding joy; meaningful purpose; eternal significance.

As a dear follower of Christ once prayed, “O may angels glorify Him incessantly, and, if possible, prostrate themselves lower before the blessed King of heaven! I long to bear a part with them in ceaseless praise; but when I have done all I can to eternity I shall not be able to offer more than a small fraction of the homage that the glorious God deserves. Give me a heart full of divine, heavenly love.”

Soli Deo Gloria! To God be the glory alone!

Ever Changing...

Life is always changing, isn't it? Some people love change, some people hate it, some just go with the flow. Personally, I love comfort - but don't we all? I can change, as long as the change is comfortable. :) But that is not what God calls us to, is it? Change often brings about additional work, pain, adversity, and "learning opportunities". It is definitely challenging, but always causes me to seek the Lord more fully and causes my faith to grow and mature even more.

My most recent change, or pending change, is job related. I have worked on the same team for the past 6 1/2 years and it is the BEST team ever - far surpassing anything I've ever been a part of. We work well together, we care about each other, we have a playful spirit, a willingness to work hard alongside each other, and the ability to lay back and enjoy one another. Yes, I'm very comfortable and, if I had my own choice, I would stay with my team for another 10 years. But, this past week I have been faced with a major decision, a decision that is not easy to make. Within the past week I have been approached by two separate managers, each requesting me to fill a position under them. I've turned down many offers before, but these have come at a critical time, and will be key positions within the ministry. And for the first time in the past 6 years, I think it's time to leave my dear team. Not because I don't like working with them, but because there is a greater need. So, now I am trying to figure out which of the two positions has the greatest need. I have spent the past week asking, "Which job will I be able to grow more in?", "Which job will I be able to contribute to the most?", "In which job can I be most effective and make the most impact?" For a girl that can't even decide what to have for dinner, deciding between two jobs is nearly impossible!

In order to try and make my decision easier, I spent time meeting with the managers, asking questions and gathering all the information so that I could asses all the pros and cons. But, after all that, the decision just became harder. They are both very important positions, both very challenging, both under very wonderful managers,...the list goes on.... Then, today I was reminded that it is not I that needs to make the decision - but the Lord. Although I can anticipate what might happen in the future, and perhaps evaluate the impact of either position - God can SEE the future and KNOWS the importance of one job over the other. Does God give out neon signs? No, but He leads, guides, and directs those who earnestly seek Him. Oh, may I seek Him with all my heart! And may He provide the right person for the other job and may He be with my favorite team during the upcoming changes. Most of all, may He be glorified through my decision - regardless if it brings hardship or pleasure.

Car Stories

I'm sure you have figured out that I am not a great "blogger" - two posts in two years... oh well, I try. :)

My family has had a saying about me since I was little, "What happens to Robyn? Everything." (long story on how that phrase came about). Well, I'm sure that many of us feel that "everything" always happens to us. Life tends to be like a roller coaster, but I have to constantly remember that God is in control and that I need to seek to serve and obey Him during both the "ups" and the"downs". This week has sure been a struggle.

My faithful "alla beri" car broke down, and it would cost nearly $2700 to get it fixed. Considering I have already spent over $2000 in the past 3 months in repairs, I came to realize that it would be wise to develop a new strategy for "spending Robyn's hard-earned money". I began looking for another Subaru (of course - nothing else will do), and by God's grace a friend referred me to a wonderful dealership. A dealership that just happened to have the PERFECT car for me. When the salesman told me a few specifics, I found I could barely control my excitement at the Lord's provision. It was exactly like my car, except 6 years older (wow! a "new" car!) and was actually below my budget limit of $5000. By God's mercy and grace alone, I was able to purchase this Subaru today and am now the proud owner of a 1996 Subaru Legacy. It's name? Gud Tro . You might be questioning why in the world I name my cars.... Well, the names are just phrases translated into a foreign language, but they are reminders to me of how God takes care of me. "Alla Beri" = Indonesian for "God Provides". "Gud-Tro" Dutch for "God is Faithful".

So, life goes on and Robyn has a new car. I still have to sell my old one - hopefully I can get a decent price, even with it's faults. And my new car needs a little fixing up as well. I'm amazed that the Lord provided such a wonderful car - with limited problems - at such a good price (at the finalized price of just over $4000). As for the dealership that I went to - they were extremely thoughtful and helpful without being the least bit pushy. I'd recommend them to anyone!

So, ends the sweet saga of Robyn's most favorite car. Alla beri has done many amazing things and will always be remembered as a symbol of God's provision.

"Is salvation by faith alone, or by faith plus works?"

After a recent conversation/debate with someone that believes that you must have both works and faith to attain salvation, I decided that I should be even more prepared to give an answer for my beliefs concerning this doctrine. Below is some very helpful information that I found on this matter, I hope it will encourage your heart as it did mine.

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This is perhaps the most important question in all of Christian theology. This question is the cause of the Reformation - the split between the Protestant church and Catholic church. This question is a key difference between Biblical Christianity and most of the "Christian" cults. Is salvation by faith alone, or by faith plus works? Am I saved just by believing in Jesus, or do I have to believe in Jesus and do certain things?

The question of faith alone or faith plus works is made difficult by some hard to reconcile Bible passages. Compare Romans 3:28, 5:1 and Galatians 3:24 with James 2:24. Some see a difference between Paul (salvation is by faith alone) and James (salvation is by faith plus works). In reality, Paul and James did not disagree at all. The only point of disagreement some people claim is over the relationship between faith and works. Paul dogmatically says that justification is by faith alone (Ephesians 2:8-9) while James appears to be saying that justification is by faith plus works. This apparent problem is answered by examining what exactly James is talking about. James is refuting the belief that a person can have faith without producing any good works (James 2:17-18). James is emphasizing the point that genuine faith in Christ will produce a changed life and good works (James 2:20-26). James is not saying that justification is by faith plus works, but rather that a person who is truly justified by faith will have good works in his life. If a person claims to be a believer, but has no good works in his life – then he likely does not have genuine faith in Christ (James 2:14, 17, 20, 26).

Paul says the same thing in his writings. The good fruit believers should have in their life is listed in Galatians 5:22-23. Immediately after telling us that we are saved by faith, not works (Ephesians 2:8-9), Paul informs us that we were created to do good works (Ephesians 2:10). Paul expects just as much of a changed life as James does, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come” (2 Corinthians 5:17)! James and Paul do not disagree on their teaching on salvation. They approach the same subject from different perspectives. Paul simply emphasized that justification is by faith alone while James put emphasis on the fact that faith in Christ produces good works.

The Many Adventures of the Mountain Pika

Capitol Peak

Some may think the things I have done this year are adventures, some may simply think I am crazy. Although I only climbed one mountain this year (my second summit of Mount Bierstadt), I did make an attempt to summit the famous Colorado mountain (and widow-maker) "Capitol Peak". Wow - was it ever thrilling! I did have the privilege to cross the renown "Knife Edge", but was unsuccessful in getting to the summit. My chance will come again next year, and I will have the joy in climbing it once again (and hopefully make it home alive.....).

Until later,

~ Robyn of the Mountains ~